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04Sep 2020

Peers- Never Let Them Pressure You

Posted by : Sunila Sapre
Category : Parenting
Date :

When you wake up in the morning and look at yourself in the mirror, whom do you see? Bill Gates? Elon Musk? Aishwarya Rai? Kalpana Chawla? Well, you see YOUR SELF, a unique human being, not like anyone else I asked about earlier.

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I have always believed in the following:

#It is better to walk alone than with by a crowd going in the wrong direction.

#Do what you feel is right. It takes immense courage to be what you are.

# We all at some time or other in our lives have faced this peer pressure. Children in their pre-teens and teens are negatively affected by this pressure, exerted either friends upon them or by the parents and the social environment they live in. Many times the confidence level of the child, goes low and self esteem is adversely affected. They are not themselves anymore. They start to behave like someone else. It is like wearing someone's shoes, a size too small or size too big, both being tremendously uncomfortable. If you make wrong choices, life often makes you fall flat on your face same like wrong size of shoes would!

Let us now understand briefly what is peer pressure. I am sure most of you already know what it means, for those who don't, it means giving in to the pressure from someone that affect your behaviour and mannerisms. A person changes so much, that he or she changes their attitudes, values and principles to just be someone else.

Life is not “one size fits all”, it is different sizes, different people and different and unique for each one of us. It is how we choose to be, and not what we are made to be under pressure. Society that we stay in gives us certain norms to follow with certain unsaid, unwritten norms to follow too.

These norms are basically set by division due to religious beliefs, economical difference and environment that the person stays in. One cannot sometimes break away from these norms, set by unknowns, from unknown times, ages. Some of these norms have negative impact and some, a very few, take the society towards positivity. Society and certain groups of individuals follow them to maintain status, social standing and above all ego.


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So what could be the way out for this peer pressure and how do we deal with it if we see it all around us, every where?

1. Surround yourself with people who know what you are and lift up your morale and energy. They may be your friends, parents, relatives and people whom you look up to. There may be some in the group you are associated with who want to always pull you down by mostly saying and behaving as if you mean no one. Politely stay away from those aunties and uncles who ask you how many marks you scored in the last exams, or those that ask, where you took your last exotic vacation.

2. Remind yourself often, I am unique, there is none other like me with the same amount of qualities, genes and chromosomes. My life purpose is different and I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I have to excel in whatever I do, and my goals are set by me for myself and I will excel my own set goals. I may not get 95 percent of marks, but I won the International Spelling Bee.

3. No one can tell me what to wear, what career I choose, where I stay or what I own. I am my own master. I am free to choose for myself. If someone is mocking me with a better job, house or dress, I will look the other way and count my blessings of having better human values, better relations and better people in my life. A person who wears Armani or Gucci, drives a limousine and stays in a condo is often alone at the end of the day.

4. Always remember rules that are broken today become norms tomorrow. So, I will break free from thoughts that don’t serve my thoughts and my spirit and carve a new path for myself. When every one drives a sedan to office, I will not be ashamed to cycle to my working place.

5. I will never be afraid to be different, rather I would be ashamed to be the same. I won’t be caught up in the web of being a perfectionist. I am human and I am entitled to a few flaws. I won't break the queue, but I won't fall in line either. I will stand alone, and people will follow me.

6. Life doesn’t always go as it is planned, and that is alright, absolutely fine. Have the spirit and energy to climb on the tidal wave of disappointment, mockery and loss. The beaches beyond are relaxing and absolutely pristine. Behind every challenge is an opportunity. I dare to keep all the mocking beasts chained.

7. Don’t fall for “being cool” You are human and “cool” guys and girls can cry. Sometimes cool guys make wrong choices and it is uncool to keep on justifying those choices. It is cool to share a beer with friends once a while, but uncool to make it a habit.

8. When sometimes you decide to give in to peer pressure, you should also know that there is always a way out. When you fall in a ditch, there is ladder somewhere to climb out of it. Remember the game of snakes and ladders. The dice always doesn’t roll to a perfect six.

9. Stop hero worship. All the heroes we idolize are playing their part just like we are playing ours. The aim should be to play our own part very well. If I have chosen to be a swimmer, I should be concentrating on breaking my own records and not the record of someone who has a world record, eventually with persistence I will reach there.

10.You are important to yourself not to anyone else but yourself. Always behave that way. No matter what, hold the reins of your life tightly in your hands. The steering wheel of the car should be in your hands when you are the driver.

I know the above knowledge is ‘ten point something’, that you can very well choose to ignore. You have the choice because life depends on the choices you make. Choices if wrong, can be definitely changed, believe that better choices are possible anytime you decide to make them. There are no written programmes for LIFE, we are not robots, all programmes are custom made and suitable for YOU alone!!   



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Sunila Sapre

I am a mom and in the same grade as my son, learning!!

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